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For years he had cherished a dream. He had failed so many times to get satisfaction that he had given up the idea of finding a woman who would play an active part in his fantasies. For one he had found it past him to even explain to a woman what would turn him on. He was too shy and inhibited to talk to a woman about his secret desires. Then there was his own reluctance to make a woman inflict damage on herself. How could he ask a woman to do something for him that would impair her health? He loved women, even worshiped them. To him women were superior beings, delicate and refined, so much more sensitive than his own kin, the coarse and brutal male race, because that's how he saw men, as an entirely different race.
It was his last resort. The thing he had kept as a last refuge, should any other possibility fail. He would appeal to the services of a professional. Yet he couldn't simply walk up to a hooker on the street and tell her 'smoke for me'. True, most of them were smokers, even quite heavy ones, the ones he liked most, but still he encountered the same difficulties as when dealing with a woman under "normal" circumstances. But then to him professionals WERE women. They deserved the same respect and consideration, even more, as they had a much harder life and were disregarded by most. To him the ones to be blamed were the men that would pay for their services and those who had turned them into what they were. For these women he felt only sympathy and compassion.
What then could he do? He had tried videos, but even the specialized ones hadn't really brought him what he craved for. Without the proximity of a real woman he just couldn't feel anything. The only thing he felt up to was the relative anonymity of a cubicle in a "reality show". He would have to invest a bit of money till he found a woman that would fit. After all, even though it was the act of smoking he was after, still she had to be attractive, to have those looks that appealed to him.
If asked to say how a woman should look to impress him, he couldn't have given a specific description. No specific hair color, nor size or figure was necessary to make him shiver with desire. There was that special something, but it could manifest in almost any form. A two hundred pound six inches plus blonde with breasts the size of his head could drive him as crazy with desire as a tiny delicate cup A girlie, may she be blonde or dark, Caucasian, Hispanic, Afro American or whatever.
After three weeks of visiting virtually any porn-joint in town he finally found the one he was looking for. She was somewhere between mid twenty and mid thirty, of middle height and bit heavy but not overly so. Not that it really mattered. What counted most was that she had that kind of face, the kind that appealed to him. She was beautiful, true, but that wasn't what impressed him. It was the trace of sadness in her eyes, the slight melancholy paired with a certain kindness and delicacy. She just looked nice, the kind of person he'd want to know better.
When he entered the dark cubicle, with its faint smell of sperm covered by a trace of perfume and saw her through the one-way mirror he felt the pang that went all through him, focusing between his loins. It was the kind of feeling some might name "love at first sight". He knew it was only the chemistry of his body reacting that way, but still it overwhelmed him. Within the fraction of a second images of her and him in hot embraces, passionate kisses and tender moments unrolled before his mental eye. Then the moment passed and he managed o push aside the turmoil of feelings. He had yet to find out whether she was what he hoped.
'Hi, I'm Serena. You don't have to tell me your name, if you don't want to. I will do whatever you ask me to, but I won't hurt myself. You can leave the light off or you can turn it on, anyway you want.' she said.
He felt his heart jolt. Her voice was wonderful. Low, but feminine and with the slight rasp in it he liked so much. Provided that it came from smoking of course.
With some difficulty he cleared his throat and answered:
'Hi, I'm Bob.'
'Hello Bob. What can I do for you?' she asked, smiling gracefully. If he hadn't fallen for her from the beginning, her smile alone would have enchanted him.
'Err, well, do you mind if we just talk for a while?'
'No, why should I? It's your show.'
'May I ask you a personal question?' he started. Fifteen minutes weren't very long and he had to come to the point. As much as he liked the way she looked, if she wasn't what he looked for, he wouldn't waste more money.
'Yes, go ahead. I don't mind being asked. If I don't like it I won't answer.' she said.
He liked that. A bit of humor and a reasonable attitude.
'OK. Do you smoke? I mean cigarettes?' He could only hope she wouldn't notice how eager he was to hear her answer. His voice had probably given him away, but at least she couldn't see him how he sat there crouched on the chair, his hands clasped together in apprehension.
'Oh, cute. That's a new one. I've been asked many things, but this really is a new one. Alright, then, yes I do, a lot I'm afraid. Is that a problem?'
She must have heard the sigh that had involuntarily escaped him, judging by the surprise in her eyes, so before she came to the wrong conclusion he spurted out.
'No, no, on the contrary. That's what I was looking for, you know.'
'Really? I never heard of that before. But why, what's it to you' she asked, really interested as it seemed. 'Is it something you need to...?'
'In a way, yes.'
'So you came here to see me smoke? But how did you know?' she asked, even more perplexed than before.
'Well I didn't. I just tried. I've tried other places before, but without any luck. I even got kicked out of one place. The girl there freaked out.'
'I'm sorry to hear that, Bob. Don't worry, I won't send you away, only I'm afraid we still have a problem.' Her voice sounded friendly, with a trace of compassion, as if she felt sorry for him. Her smile looked less mechanical now, warmer and more personal, as if she looked straight into his eyes and not into a mirror.
'You see, I'm not supposed to smoke in here. My boss is a bit of an anti. She quit some time ago and now she's all against it. I have to go outside to smoke and I only have a break every two hours. I hhad to learn to chain three cigarettes in ten minutes. I've been a pack a day girl before, but ever since I started here, I seem to smoke more. Crazy, isn't it? Now I smoke a pack at home and half a pack here, even more.' she stopped suddenly, realizing she had talked about her private life, a thing she wasn't supposed to do. 'Anyway, if you want to see me smoke, I fear it won't work.'
That cooled him down instantly. It had worked out so well and now he should give it up? That wouldn't do. An idea formed in his mind. He had nothing to loose. He would ask the boss. He might even offer to pay more. After all, what had he to loose? He looked at his wristwatch. A good thing he preferred those cheap looking Japanese digital watches. They had a built in light so he could read the time even in total darkness. He had less then ten minutes, but if he could talk the boss into letting Serena smoke, he would gladly pay for a whole hour.
'Serena, why don't I ask your boss to make an exception? I'll book you for an hour if she does.' he said.
'Well, maybe it will work. I'll call her up. If you talk to her nicely, who knows?' Serena said, still a little doubtful.
Suddenly a voice came over the speaker. It sounded hoarse and raspy, but not unfriendly, the voice of an older woman with a record of long time smoking and maybe drinking.
'All right mister, if you book her for an hour I'll make an exception, but only if she'll throw in her break too. You won't need a smoke break now, Serena, if you smoke for the guy.'
Bob realized the boss had been listening to their conversation all the time. But that was the natural thing to do, he thought. They had to keep an eye and ear on what happened in the cubicles. It was for the safety of both customers and the girls. Besides, they had an absolutely strict rule. No private contacts were to be established between the girls and the customers.
'Fine with me, Anna.' Serena acknowledged, obviously happy she would be allowed to smoke "at work".
'You've got fifty more minutes, mister. Go ahead.'
A click announced that the boss had at least tuned off her mike. She would probably listen anyway. But that didn't matter.
'Err, Bob, I'm sorry, but you'll have to excuse me for a second. I need to fetch my cigarettes'
Bob raised his hand to signal no problem, but than he realized she couldn't see him, so he told her to go ahead. After what seemed only seconds, she was back, breathing a little heavy.
'I ran as fast as I could' she said, still a little out of breath.
She held a pack of Winston Super Longs in her hand, together with a disposable lighter. With trembling hands she extracted a cigarette from the soft pack and took it to her lips. A flick of the lighter and with a deep sigh she inhaled the first drag. A few seconds passed during which a tiny stream of smoke escaped her nostrils and then she exhaled a long stream of dense white smoke that filled her side of the cubicle.
Bob watched transfixed. This was better then he had dreamt off. She knew how to smoke and she obviously enjoyed it. It was this moment, the expectation, the first drag, the gratitude to see her actually smoke and the obvious satisfaction she got from it that was worth the money, he thought. No, more than that, it was simply priceless.
Suddenly Serena seemed to realize there was somebody on the other side of the mirror.
'Oh, I'm sorry Bob. I forgot to ask if there's something special you want me to do? Do you want me to undress, or should I do something special with the cigarette?'
'Oh, no, it's perfect like that. Maybe we can think of something later, but for now I just want to watch you smoke. Just smoke like you always do.' he said.
His arousal kept intensifying. He did not feel like jerking off yet. In fact he didn't feel like it at all. That would come later, at night in his bed. For now he was just absorbing the sight of this beautiful woman smoking for him. It was a new sensation that a woman would smoke for his benefit, aware that he was there just to see her smoke. She tossed her head to one side to throw her long curly hair over her shoulder, a movement so innocent, girlish, that for a moment he forgot it all and just stared at the beautiful woman in front of him.
He caught himself exploring her face, ignoring the cigarette. She wasn't the classical beauty, her features just a bit too strong. Yet he found her high cheekbones and the deep- set huge eyes absolutely adorable. Her mouth was big and her lips full, holding a promise of wet hot kisses, her nose a little long but straight and delicate, with just an idea of an upturn towards the end. A sudden pang of sadness hit him. He would give almost anything to become her lover, no, her friend AND lover, but it wasn't possible. How many men had tried, he wondered. Yet in vain. There was no reason to believe she would feel anything but contempt, compassion at best, for the poor guys who needed to pay to watch a woman do al sorts of things behind a one-way mirror.
The moment passed and he concentrated again on watching her smoke. He could not decide what he like most. Her cheek-hollowing drags, the thirsty inhales always accompanied by a subdued sigh, slightly distorted by the microphone that picked up the sound to transport it to his side of the cubicle, or the rich exhales, done mostly through mouth and nose at the same time.
His thoughts were interrupted when with a sigh loaded with lots of smoke she stubbed out the cigarette. She had smoked it down to the filter.
'Wow, I needed that. Whoever you are, Bob, thanks a lot. I don't know what you got out of this, but it sure saved my life.' she said, her words accompanied by a short laugh.
'No need to thank me, Serena. I doubt you have any idea how much pleasure it has been to me.' Bob answered, surprised at his own frankness. This wasn't at all like him. He had never dared before confess to a smoker how much it meant to him. He was afraid to be rejected as a freak. Well, he was a freak if it came to that. He was well aware how unnatural his passion was, but there was little he could do about it. It was part of him and that was that. At least the past quarter of an hour had for the first time in his miserable life made him feel a little happy.
'How about it Bob, shall I light another one?'
'If you feel like?' Bob said cautiously. One of the reasons he hadn't felt comfortable when watching specialized videos was that he could often see that the girls or women who smoked in front of a camera didn't really feel comfortable at it. Now that it seemed he had at last found what he had been looking for, the last thing he wanted was to ruin it all.
'Do I feel like? Man, I could chain the whole pack right now.' Serena said and reached for a cigarette again. 'You know, the first one kills the cravings, but it's the second one you really enjoy. Hey, mind if I ask you a question?'
'No, go ahead.'
'Do you smoke?'
'No, I don't'
'So you get your kick out of watching other people smoke?' she asked.
'Not other people, just beautiful women.'
'Cute. You know, back in high school, when I started, I could see how the boys stared at me and I did feel a lot more of a woman when I smoked. But I wouldn't have dreamt there where men out there to actually need it.' she said, smoke billowing out of he mouth in an absolutely adorable way.
Bob would have expected to encounter disregard or contempt, but he couldn't trace anything except friendly interest on her voice.
'Well, now you know it.' he answered rather dryly. He still couldn't believe she didn't mind.
'Yes, now I know. I only wish I had known earlier.' It was her turn to sound dry and sad.
'Why? What happened to you?' Bob asked, suddenly eager to find out what bothered her. Could it be? He dared not hope.
'Well, it's a long story.'
'We have, let me see, some thirty minutes. Is that enough for a long story?' he said, eager to hear more.
'I don't know. I mean I'm here to listen and do things for you, you know. I'd rather keep my private life out of this. That's the rules, ya know.'
His arousal vanished as he realized where he was. She was right of course. How could he expect anything else? But out of a sudden his eye could a little movement of her hand. He also realized she winked at him. He index, while her hand rested in her lap, pointed upwards to where he now realized the supervision camera was. He couldn't help but smile happily, although he knew Serena couldn't see him. Then he remembered what she had said at the beginning. He could turn on the light on his side, so she could see him also.
Her gesture had shown him she meant exactly the opposite of her words. Maybe there was hope to meet her in real life! But he had to spare him and her of an utter disappointment. She had to see him. Not that he had doubts about his looks. He knew he looked reasonably well, but not to everybody. A series of disappointing blind dates at a time when he had still believed he could find a smoker via an add had taught him that lesson.
'Do you mind if I turn on the light here?' he asked with trembling voice. If she accepted, he would know whether there was hope.
'Yes, I think that would be nice. Do you mind if I light up another one?' she asked not meaning the question seriously as she knew the answer well.
'You know I don't. There we go. Tataa' Bob said, mocking a fanfare.
With more determination than he actually felt, he switched the light on. He didn't dare look at her at first, afraid of what he would read in her face, but he heard a muffled exclamation. Fearing he had scared her off, he raised his eyes. What he saw made fireworks explode in his heart. She smiled, no, she beamed at him. Her lips formed a kiss, in fact a smoky kiss, as she blow smoke through her lips. Her finger however pointed up to the ceiling to tell him to be careful.
'Hello handsome.' she said, now in a purely professional attitude. Only a wink of her eye told him she had to put up a show for the sake of the camera and mikes watching them. 'Shall I undress?'
He hesitated for a minute, but than he realized she wanted him to go on with what was expected of them.
She took off her dress unveiling a red bodice. It looked a bit worn-out, a sign that this wasn't the kind of place to make a lot of money. Still she looked absolutely stunning in it, he thought. The bodice pushed up more than it covered a pair of magnificent full breasts, not oversized but rich and plentiful. Cup D, or DD?. Her hips were rather strong and heavy but nevertheless beautiful, just right he thought. What a wonderful feeling it would be to touch that silky skin, to let his hand wonder along the curb of her hip and descend on her waistline, then up along her side till he reached her breast... A sigh escaped him.
Serena looked up and asked:
'Is there anything wrong? You don't like what you see? I'm too fat, isn't it?'
What could he answer? He smiled in the most friendly manner, trying to beam as she had when she had first seen him.
'Oh no my dear,' he whispered, hoarse from emotion, 'you are so wonderful! I only wish...' he left the sentence unfinished, knowing she would understand.
She smiled back and asked:
'I could do with another cigarette, as long as I'm allowed to. Do you mind?' a wink of her eye and she had a cigarette between her lips before he could have given an answer.
Cigarette in her left hand Serena now started with her usual "repertoire", her right hand exploring the dark triangle between her loins. Although Bob would have preferred to have an active part in it, her artful performance had it's impact on him. Especially as she smoked during it. The sight of her smoked filled sighs, her moaning and the way her thighs contracted while her fingers went deeper and deeper inside her, how she kept dragging harder and harder on her cigarette, till the cherry on it's end was almost half an inch long and her face all but disappeared behind the smoke that kept pouring out of her mouth and nose, all that aroused him till he couldn't help but to unbuckle his pants and rub his middle finger frantically. Within seconds he reached a climax of terrifying intensity, almost throwing him off the chair.
He opened his eyes again and to his utter surprise he saw Serena lost in a shuddering orgasm. If this was a show it was worthy of an Oscar. But judging by the way her fingers trembled while she reached for another cigarette, almost unable to light it and the sweat on her face and body it was self-evident she had gone through the real thing. Wow, he thought, that wasn't supposed to happen to her.
After a few heavy drags on her cigarette she seemed to have recovered a bit. Again she blew a kiss at him, a smoky one like before. Then, with her right hand in her lap, she made a sign. He didn't understand immediately, but then it came to him. Index, middle and ring finger closed, thumb and little finger stretched to opposite sides, it was the universal sign for a phone call. He almost missed the figures she showed with her fingers, both hands in her lap, cigarette dangling from her lips. Five, five, five, seven, two, three, one. She repeated the performance twice, till he nodded.
He couldn't believe it. She had given him her phone number. He dared now to blow her a kiss too. A look at his watch told him time was almost up anyway. He wanted to rise, but she motioned him to wait. A twisting move from her wrist, told him he should turn of the light on his side. Then her hand moved to what seemed to be a little switchboard in front of her. He heard a click in the speaker, but the slight hum told him she hadn't actually switched it off. He didn't have to wait for long.
'Hey Anna?' Serena spoke into the mike to attract the attention of her boss.
'What's up? Is his mike off?' the answer came through the speaker system.
'Yep. It's off. Hey Anna, you think I could take the rest of the day off?'
Bob figured out that Serena pretended she had cut him out of her conversation with her boss, but wanted him to listen.
'What's the matter? Smoked too much? I shouldn't have let you!' the voce of the invisible boss sounded a bit annoyed but not really angry.
'Oh no. It's just that I'm a bit tired you know. What about it?' pleaded Serena.
'All right, as long as you don't do it every day. You're lucky, you know. Business isn't going well today, so you can go, but don't expect me to pay you for the whole day.' Anna seemed to be reasonable after all.
'Ok, fair enough. I didn't expect that anyway. See you tomorrow then.'
Serena rose from the chair and took on her dress. Switching off the light, she left the room. Bob left too, eager to go home and try the phone number she had given him.
At home he had to force himself not to dive for the phone the moment he entered his apartment. He took a shower and prepared a coffee. Then, hair still dripping, he sat on the couch in front of the phone. Finally, without having touched the coffee, his hand gripped the phone and he dialed the number he had memorized.
He was about to hang up after what seemed an eternity when someone picked up the phone on the other hand. His first impression was he had gotten the wrong number as the voice on the other hand was of a young girl, much higher than Serena's alto.
'Hello, who's there?' the girl asked.
Bob decided against hanging up. He had nothing to loose.
'Hi, I'm Bob. Is there a Serena living there?'
'Serena? Who's that?' the girl asked, quite puzzled.
His hand was on its way to hang up the phone, when he thought he heard some muffled noises and then a voice of another person.
'Yes, I'm here,' he managed to say. So Serena was there. He had no time to wonder what it was about the girl who had picked up the phone.
'Thank God. I'm sorry Bob, I should have warned you, but you know, with Big Brother watching, there was no way.' she spurted breathless.
'It's all right. I had feared I've gotten the wrong number. Who's your room- mate by the way?' he felt he shouldn't have been indiscrete, as it was none of his business, but the words had come out before he had time to think.
'Oh,' Serena hesitated. 'Well, I might as well tell you.' another pause. 'She's my daughter.'
It was Bob's turn to fall silent. Was she married? But then he braced himself and asked. Better to know it from the start.
'So you're married.'
To his surprise Serena laughed.
'No, for heaven's sake, I'm not, never been.'
'Good.' Bob said cautiously. 'So you want to keep in touch?'
'Yes,' Serena said a bit shyly. 'I was thinking maybe you want to drop by. I mean, I'd like to just talk to you, you know. I can fix you something to eat you know and Joanna here could do with some supper too. Maybe the three of us could have a nice evening together.'
Bob sensed she was a bit unsure. After what had happened before, she probably feared he was after a hot night with her and not playing family. But she shouldn't have, Bob thought. He loved children even. True, he felt a bit disappointed he wouldn't get the chance right away, but on the other hand getting to really know her held a promise of more than just hot sex. That would only be a passing pleasure often leaving behind a bitter aftertaste.
'Wow, that would be just great. I'd love to.' he said hoping he sounded as enthusiastic as he felt.
'I know you hoped for something else, but well, I'm not that kind of girl anyway. This is really knew to me you know. I'd love to know you better and for now it's the best I can offer you.'
'No, no, don't worry. I'd really love to. To tell you the truth, a bit of family life is what I miss a lot more than just, you know, hot stuff.' he said, laughing a little. His words had been absolutely sincere.
'You don't know how glad I am to hear that. Can you be here in half an hour? I live near the South Bank, number twenty-two Fork Street.'
'That's quite far from here, almost ten minutes to walk.' Bob answered, trying his sometimes a bit peculiar sense of humor on her.
'Well, that's far indeed. You should start right away then. Joanna will let you in if I'm still under the shower.'
Bob felt she was about to hang up so he hurried to throw in a last question, something that kept puzzling him.
'You daughter didn't seem to know you by the name of Serena. I gather that's not your real name.'
'Good heavens, I'm sorry. I forgot about that. Yes, you're right. Julia, Julia Mendez, that's the name on my driving license.' Serena or better Julia answered with a laugh on her voice.
'Pleased to meet you. I have to disappoint you, though. My name IS Bob, Bob Clarke, to be precise. Hi Julia.' he said.
'Now hurry up, Bob, or we'll end up doing phone-sex and I wonder where that would lead us.' she said teasingly. 'I want to have you here, without a mirror separating us.'
'Ten minutes, then. Bye Julia.'
'Bye Bob' There was a desire in her voice telling him how eager she was to see him again.
All the way to her apartment he kept repeating, Julia, Julia, Julia. What a wonderful name. He felt like his feet had grown wings and he was at the address she had given him in no more than five minutes.
As predicted, it was Joanna, the daughter, who opened the door. She was a slack teenager of about sixteen, not an innocent girlie any more but not yet a woman. Bob cursed himself for appraising her like a prospective... No, she was her daughter and thus he would think of her and treat her like his own flesh and blood.
'Hi, Joanna, I'm Bob.'
Joanna took his hand and smiled at him.
'Hi Bob. nice to meet you. I'm glad my mother chose well when she finally decided to bring a man home.' she said with the typical frankness of a teenager.
He had listened intensely for a trace of irony, but obviously she meant what she said. She motioned him to sit on the couch. Remembering the show Julia had put up for him less than an hour ago, Bob sniffed for the smell of smoke in the room, but to his surprise it was almost undetectable. Good! He thought. So she was of the more tidy kind or at least she spared her daughter. He looked around and found that while the sparse furniture in the living room was of the cheaper kind, still it was chosen well and the room was tidy and had a sort of friendly freshness about it.
Before Bob had a chance to start a conversation with Joanna, Julia entered the living room, clad in a simple summer dress, her hair tied to a pony tail. she looked quite different without make up, young and fresh. He realized she must be well over thirty, with a daughter past junior high. Yes, she had a few wrinkles around her eyes and her skin gave her away a little, but she had the sort of girlish attitude on her that made her look much younger.
'Hi Bob. I see you met Joanna and it seems you passed the examination.'
While Bob rose to greet her, he saw with the corner of his eye Joanna smile and nod. Julia simply took his hand and drew him close to her. While she gave him a sweet kiss on his lips he felt her hard nipples poke at his chest through the thin fabric of her dress.
'Hi sweetie.' she said holding him close. He smelt her breath and feared he would get a hard on right there, making an ass in front of her and her teenage daughter. He sensed the peculiar fragrance of a long time smoker. Apart from watching a woman enjoy smoking, that smell was maybe the biggest turn on to him. Yet he had to keep his feelings under control. Despite her positive reaction to his confession of his peculiar pleasures earlier on, he couldn't be sure yet how it would affect her attitude towards him.
To hide the slight swelling in his pants he sat down quickly, almost dropping in the couch.
Julia took the easy chair opposite him, next to Joanna that occupied the other one.
'What do you think, Joanna? We could make an exception today. After all it's summer and we can air the room over night. Let's have a smoke night.'
'Cool, mommy. Can I?'
'Yes darling, as long as you don't overdo it. You know what I told you. It's OK if it's for pleasure and not compulsive.'
Bob heard a little sigh at the end of her sentence. Preaching water and drinking wine he thought, mentally rubbing his hands. Yes, she was the kind of relentless smoker he craved for.
The rest of the conversation had gone a bit past Bob. He didn't have to wonder long, though, as it immediately became evident what they had been talking about. Joanna rose hastily and returned from another room, presumably the kitchen, with a pack of cigarettes, the same Winston he had seen Julia smoke earlier on her "job" as Serena. With mixed feelings he watched mother and daughter light up. It became obvious that Joanna was still a beginner. Her drags were a bit shallow and her thin exhales instantly followed her inhales.
'Joanna started to smoke on her sixteenth birthday, some two month ago.' Julia explained unsolicited. 'With my own smoking I knew there was no way around it, but I could at least convince her she should wait till she turned sixteen. She's my little darling and I think most mothers can only dream of such a good daughter.'
'And mother.' Joanna added and sat on the armrest of her mother’s chair, embracing her. They kissed each other on the cheek.
Bob felt a little out of his depth. As much as Julia's smoking turned him on, he had mixed feelings about seeing them both smoke together. While he sometimes felt utterly aroused by the sight of teenage girls smoking, still he tried not to allow himself to enjoy it. It simply wasn't OK. His reason told him young girls shouldn't start smoking at an early age, not at all in fact. Yet he adored it, so the compromise was he would indulge on a woman's smoking as long as it was her own free will and had nothing to do with his desires. He would never push a woman to smoke more or stronger cigarettes than the brand she preferred. He would take it as it was.
In fact today had been the first time in his life to disclose to a woman how he felt about it. Julia's reaction had taken him completely by surprise. Although she knew from the start what drove him, she had not only taken it on her to convince her boss to satisfy Bob's wish, although Anna, her boss, had initially been against it, no, even more, she showed signs of being attracted by him and now she sat there in front of him, filling her living room with smoke, a thing she wouldn't normally do.
Bob stared at her and Julia stared back. Maybe it was wishful thinking but Bob thought he saw the same emotions in her eyes that tormented him. Utter arousal but also affection. He had fallen head over heels for her and everything told him the same went for her too. Hadn't it been for her daughter for all he knew they would probably play rabbit right there on the carpet of her living room.
With determination Julia stubbed out her cigarette. Joanna still had almost half of hers to work on.
'I'll disappear in the kitchen for a minute. I hope you like pasta, Bob. J&J are great fans of pasta, you know. J&J that's us girls, you know.'
'Yes I love pasta. I had an Italian aunt by marriage and she made some pasta, I can tell you. The few Sundays my parents brought me to her were always a feast. She was some woman. We really loved each other. She had no children of her own, so I guess to her I was the son she never had.' Bob said, realizing it hadn't been the politest thing to say. No woman liked her cooking skills compared to those of another woman.
'Well, I hope I'm up to it. I had a good teacher, though. My own grandma was Italian, so I'm sort of genetically conditioned for pasta cooking. You'll have to be the judge of it.'
Her innocent and friendly smile told him to his relief that she hadn't gotten his words the wrong way. She was confident enough in her cooking skills not to fear competition.
Bob wasn't picky about food anyway. His Greek grandma he had spent most of his early childhood with was probably the only Greek grandma in the whole world that didn't master the famous Greek cooking at all. Yet she was convinced her dishes were exquisite and young Bob often had to be forced to eat up. His mother was a wonderful cook, but as both his parents had worked hard to "achieve something" in life although he never found out what, as they hadn't lived long enough to achieve whatever it was, his mother would cook only on Sundays, when his grandma spent the morning in church.
He almost missed Julia's invitation to join her in the kitchen where she had a tiny table, just big enough for three plates and a steaming tray with Rigatoni al Forno in the middle. Bob could tell by the smell alone that Julia had been rather modest about her cooking. He felt his mouth watering. After the first cautious mouthful, as the Rigatoni were still very hot, he leant back with closed eyes, savoring the exquisite taste, the perfect combination of the pasta, pieces of ham, tomatoes and herbs. After reluctantly swallowing the mouthful, he sighed happily and beamed at Julia.
'My aunt should have taken lessons from you, Julia.'
'Joanna, look the other way!' Julia told her daughter with a wink.
It seemed to Bob this wasn't something entirely new between the two of them. It struck him how different the relationship between mother and daughter was from anything he had ever known. His own sister had hardly ever talked with their mother, except about simple household stuff or school. Sexuality was something one simply didn't talk about. Not that he didn't know about it. It became evident to him quite early why his parents used the bathroom together on Saturdays, locked in for an hour or so.
His line of thought was interrupted by Julia's soft lips on his, her tongue in search of his and for a while all he felt was the arousal of their first real kiss. Mixed as it was with the taste and flavor of the pasta almost but not entirely covering the smell of the cigarette she had been smoking shortly before, it was the best kiss he had ever enjoyed.
'Now let's not waste the pasta, Bob. Joanna will be off with her boyfriend soon, so there'll be plenty of time for more.' Julia said to Bob, at the same time winking at her daughter who obviously didn't mind her mother's outright behavior.
Bob's confusion as to the relationship between them grew when Joanna spoke to him.
'I hope you won't disappoint my mom. She sure could use some of the better things of life. I've felt rather guilty with me having a boyfriend lately.'
'Well, I'll do my best.' Bob said, feeling awkward to talk to her openly about having sex with her mother.
For a while they just ate in silence. Bob felt a little uneasy, being at the focus of two pairs of beautiful eyes. Even though different in type, with blonde rather than dark hair, Joanna had inherited a lot of her mother's beauty with an addition of her own, probably inherited from her father.
'Mom, can we have a cigarette now? You know, the after meal digestion one?' interrupted Joanna Bob's line of thought. Then, as an afterthought:
'Do you mind Bob? I see you don't smoke yourself, so with all that second hand smoke...'
'Oh no, dear,' Bob replied. 'Go ahead. It really doesn't bother me at all.' Of course he couldn't really tell the young one how he felt about that. If someone was in the position to reveal his secret passion it would be her mother, although, would there come a time for that? It seemed almost too good to be true.
A lovely, still young mother, attractive and beautiful, who seemed to return his feelings. Well, he would have to let things develop. Numerous failures in his love-life had taught him to accept things the way they came. More than once had he ruined a promising relationship by being rash or overly zealous. However he had the feeling this was different. There was something about her that made him simply feel comfortable and he could only hope she felt the same.
Joanna, who had shoveled in her pasta hastily, rose and left the table to return with her mother's cigarettes. Bob looked up and realizing Joanna waited for him to empty his plate before she dared light up, patted Joanna's head, a gesture that surprised him more than Joanna or her mother, and said:
'Look, Joanna, go ahead and smoke. Honestly, I don't mind. I grew up in a restaurant sort of, at times when smoking was the natural thing to happen there. I've eaten half my meals engulfed in a cloud of smoke. I sometimes even think I can savor the food better when I smell the smoke.'
Bob felt a little guilty as this wasn't exactly true. He had seldom eaten in his parent's restaurant and exactly because his parents wanted to keep him out of the smoke, but it had happened a few times and he had indeed enjoyed it. Then there had been his aunt who had been an avid smoker herself and even if she had never smoked while Bob ate at her table, still the smell persisted in her house.
'No kidding?' asked Joanna, surprised by his reaction. 'Momma, I think I like Bob more by the minute.'
Julia nodded, obviously the sign for her daughter to light up. So with all the ease between them, she was an obedient child. What a difference to what had been going on in his own home when he had been a child, not to mention the two brats of his sister’s!
'You know, Julia, it really is a pleasure to watch you two. I've never seen such a close relation between mother and daughter and such a well educated young lady either.'
To his surprise, both blushed. Julia lent over to give him a peck, a little sticky from the pasta. She noticed it and it made her laugh. She tried to clean his cheek with her napkin. Bob took her hand and kissed it, using the occasion to take a good sniff and enjoy the faint smell of tar on her fingers, another thing he found so alluring on a smoker. It wasn't so intense as he had once smelt it on the fingers of another woman who had smoked a pack and more of unfiltered cigarettes per day, but still it made him rejoice. Maybe in time, if things went well, he might have a chance to share his pleasures with Julia.
'You're so sweet, Bob, for saying that.' Her hand found her way up his cheek as her words trailed off in a whisper and she reached for a cigarette.
'Mom, Bob! I'll leave you pigeons alone now, I'm sure you'll get along well without me. I have a sex-life of my own to take care of.' Joanna said, breaking the spell. She rose and gave her mother a peck. Then she kissed Bob too whirled out of the kitchen.
'Mind if I smoke another one?' Julia asked, winking at Bob and using the exact words she had used earlier that day.
'You know the answer.' Bob said tenderly. He still found it hard to believe she actually enjoyed fulfilling his secret desires. Watching her smoke electrified him. Now that no mirror separated them and he felt her near and could smell her cigarette, his arousal reached a level almost impossible to endure. He waited for her to take another drag and it seemed to him that she really tried and succeeded to do it in a sensual way, with slow languid moves, caving in her cheeks deliberately while dragging and prolonging both drag and inhale. When the moment came she held down the smoke for a few seconds, he dared seal her lips with his. In a fraction of a second she had overcome her initial surprise and they were kissing fiercely. He would have to teach her more about smoky kisses later. For now he was content with the slightly clumsy way in which she exhaled through her nose and a little into his mouth.
'Let me check if Joanna's gone already. I want to freshen up a little before we go into my bedroom.' Julia said, talking from very close up and Bob felt he could hardly endure the way her breath aroused him. The mixture of fresh smoke and residues of thousands of cigarettes from the past made his hormones explode in an almost frightful way.
He remembered how it had been with other girls or women. They had always avoided letting him smell their breath, being somewhat ashamed of the smell that came from smoking. Bob on the other hand had never dared admit how he felt about it. The most he had ever told a woman, it had been a still attractive older woman who had smoked almost all her life, a thing that for Bob had held the promise of a particularly "flavored" breath, had been that he didn't mind. The woman however had told him that she minded and that was that.
Julia rose and taking the cigarettes with her she stepped through the door to the living room, making Bob a sign to follow her. She peeped through two of the doors that led to other rooms and than came back to Bob. Having learnt the lesson, she took a lung busting drag that ate up half an inch of her cigarette and pressing her body against Bob's she gave him a thorough smoky kiss, this time letting Bob share the smoke she held in her lungs.
When they finally parted with burning lips, Joanna, who seemed to have miraculously read his mind, said:
'I want to ask you something, Bob. Don't get me wrong, but I can feel you need some preparation before we get to the real thing. I'd love to give you a hand job right now.'
Bob blushed, knowing she had sensed how high his arousal was and that he feared he wouldn't last but seconds if he were to try make love to her right then. He kissed her tenderly and nodded. She took him by the hand and led him to the bedroom.
A few hot kisses and the mere touch of her hand were enough. His loins exploded. Relieved but far from being satisfied, Bob leant back and stretch his hands after Julia. She shook her head and unbuttoned her dress. Bob did the same and removed all his clothes. It was time for them to explore each other's bodies.
Bob wasn't especially conscious of his body. Not a fan of sports, still he was in reasonably good shape with no extra fat. His arms and shoulders look good although not exactly muscle ridden. His best part, he thought, were his legs. In his youth he had been a passionate bicycle rider and more than once had he ventured in tours of fifty and more miles a piece. His hips and calves showed it. He wondered briefly whether Julia liked what she saw. Even though not a womanizer, he had learned enough of women to know that unlike men, most women weren't so sensitive to the bodily shape of a man. He had often found confirmation of the fact that women were much easier impressed by voice and words than muscles.
He looked into Julia's eyes and what he found there made him rejoice. Yes, she sure wasn't disappointed. Then he began to size up her naked body and immediately he felt it twitch between his loins. He could hardly believe his eyes. She was absolutely perfect. Her breasts alone were enough to drive a man crazy, but the rest of her was almost too good to be true. He took her hand and dragged her towards him. His hands moved up and down her sides, her hips, her buttocks, till he made his way to her intimacy which he found hot and palpitating under his touch.
For a while his mind went blank. He was all feeling, plunging in the warmth of her body, enjoying her hands on his back, her calves over his and her feverish kisses as much as her hot inside around his bursting organ. Her moves became faster, her pelvis bounced against his and he felt her inner muscles contract rhythmically again and again. Her moans grew louder and louder, till she cried out in agony. He felt like going on forever, afraid his climax would put an end to this delight. When he finally couldn't hold back no more, it wasn't just the usual explosion, but a firework of ecstatic explosions.
Even after he had delivered his load, he kept on thrusting, shuddered by a hot sensation that made him convulse repeatedly. Then finally it was over. For a while they were both incapable of speaking and he stayed on top of her till he realized he was choking her with his weight. He rolled to one side and realized the sheet on the bed was soaked with perspiration. A clicking sound made him lift his head from her shoulder were he had buried it.
The perfect culmination for a wonderful act, to watch her smoke! After a few drags she became aware of his stare.
'You like to watch me smoke, don't you? Yes of course you do and I love you for that.' she whispered and turned her head to grace him with a smoky kiss.
'You have no idea how good it feels. I mean, most of the time men wanted to make me quit and complained about my smoking. To look at you and see it gives you just as much pleasure as it gives me, is an enormous relief.' and they kissed once more.
After a while they grew weary of just laying there and enjoy each other's touch. Julia made him join her under the shower and they soaped each other up, fondling and kissing. He took great pleasure in rubbing her dry and she did the same for him.
Naked as they were, they sat on the couch in the living room.
'Darling, I'll have another smoke and you can kiss me as much as you want, but then we've got to talk.' Julia said, while helping herself to a cigarette.
Well, here it comes, Bob thought. Every time he had thought to have found the perfect match, sooner or later the awakening came. His concern grew and suddenly her kisses grew stale. What would it be this time? A boyfriend conveniently away for a few days? But that was unthinkable. Then what?
'Now, let's talk.' Julia said, interrupting his dark thoughts.
'Oh my God, I made you worry!' she exclaimed next, as she saw the expression on his face. 'Come here and let me kiss you. There's nothing to worry about.' and she kissed him tenderly on the cheek.
'I was about to worn you I fell madly in love with you and I'd like to make plans for a bit of a future for us!'
A sigh of relief escaped Bob.
'But I must warn you, though. I'm a very impulsive person.' Julia went on. 'I've just decided you're the right man for Joanna and me, whether it suites you or not. So I'm gonna ask you here and now: Are you in for it? For good or worse, just like in front of the priest? If you have doubts, better say it now.'
Doubts? Bob thought, with this beauty that was everything he had ever dreamt of?
'Look Julia, I'd be in for it, except for one question I have.'
'What is it? Do you mind the way I earn my living?' she said with a rather stern note on her voice.
Obviously she feared he would want to control her way of life. Well, he wasn't particularly keen on her posing in front of other men, but he didn't mind it that much actually. So out with it, he said to himself.
'Oh no, my God no. I mean, whether and how you want to earn a living of your own is entirely up to you.' he said, managing to squeeze out a little laugh. 'You see, I was thinking of something else. Well, I might want to have children from you.'
To his utter surprise she almost knocked him over the way she jumped on him and covered his face with little kisses.
'Oh my God, Bob, for a while you had me scared. Yes, yes, I'd like to have as many kids as you want me to. I'm still young enough for it and I'm sure Joanna would love it too.' she spurted out happily.
Bob felt an enormous relief.
'Well then, we might as well start right away.'
'Not so fast, you stallion you! I want another cigarette first.'
'Why not smoke it while we...?' Bob whispered, hardly daring to express his dearest secret wish.
'Yeah, sweetie, doesn't sound like a bad idea. I have to confess something. You know, back at the club, when I made that show of masturbating and smoking at the same time, something happened I never thought could happen to me. I've been doing this job for quite a while, but I never felt anything there. I just faked it all the time. Today I wanted it to be real, for you, and it worked. The funny thing was that smoking through it actually felt good, more than good in fact. I'd love to try it for real, with you inside me, you know.'
Bob couldn't believe his ears. That was absolutely crazy. As if she had read his mind. She wasn't just willing, she was eager herself to do it.
And so they went to the bedroom and she rode him, ashtray on his belly and sent him to nirvana once more. In his mind he pictured the clouds of smoke to be the clouds he would pass on his way up into his own private seventh heaven.
‘Oh my God! That was so fucking good!’ Julia cried out.
‘Want more? Just light another cigarette and I’ll be ready for you in no time.’ Bob said as an answer.
‘Oh c’mon Bob, I’m all sore down there already.’ Julia complained.
‘Yeah, OK I guess we’ll leave some for tomorrow. But you must admit it has been a good idea.’ Bob said after kissing Julia’s cheek.
‘Aaah, yes. I don’t think we’ve ever had so much fun, not even before Joanna was born.’ Julia replied in a purring voice.
‘Yes, that’s true. Not even before we were married. Maybe we should have tried this earlier.’ Bob said in a pensive mood.
‘Yeah, maybe, but at least we did it now.’ Julia said
‘Took me a lot of persuading, though.’ Bob answered with a sigh.
‘Well, next time I’ll agree to everything you say. For a fuck like that I’d do anything. Oh, well, almost. I mean playing slut behind a mirror was OK kinda, but I definitely won’t play a hooker! I mean actually getting laid by other guys for the sake of the game… I understand now you’ve got a smoking fetish and it’s OK with me, ‘cause I love to smoke anyway, but I hope you’re not going to tell me you’re a voyeur too. Not after seventeen years of marriage. Besides, I won’t let you out of my sight for another three month, not for a day now. And I want to move back to our house and stay there!’
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